We have a family bed. Our bed has grown a bit over the past 9 years. We started with a King size bed. Then we added a child. We continued adding beds and children until our current arrangemet – a King+Queen+Twin with four kids, my husband, and myself. It’s not like that every night. Sometimes our older two children sleep in their bunk beds, either one in each bed or sharing the full bottom bunk. However lately, most nights include the entire family snuggled up in our room. It isn’t for everyone, but it works for us. Soon enough they won’t want to snuggle with us anymore or need a parent close. We are happy to provide them with a healthy secure attachment to provide the foundation for them to go off on their own.
Surprisingly, the question most people ask when they hear about family beds is about sex. I’ll admit that the first time someone broached the subject, I didn’t initially make the connection. Call me naive, if you like. Beds just don’t happen to equate sex to me. In my world, beds are for sleeping.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had plenty of sex in beds; beds just don’t happen to be THE place we head to for a little rendezvous. Frankly, if you looked at our sex life pre-kids, the bed still only held a small percentage of our frisky endeavors. So I’m always a bit mystified when someone thinks we don’t have sex because our kids sleep in our bed, not only because I don’t view beds as the sex spot, but also because, with four kids, it’s kind of obvious that yes, we do have sex.
I’m sure, years from now, our bed will start to see more action. When the kids are teenagers, staying up late and scrounging in the kitchen for snacks, we’ll need to curtail some of our amorous activities around the house. Even later, when we are enjoying our twilight years and find that certain places are hard on our hips or joints, we’ll make certain we have a nice big bed.
However, for now, it’s nice having all the kids tucked away in bed while the rest of the house is our playground. Early morning showers before the kids are up are steamy in all the right ways. When my husband walks in the kitchen in the afternoon, asking me to come help him put laundry on to wash, I know it’s a double score: some special time with him and my handsome husband doing laundry.
Having kids in our bed hasn’t diminished our love life. If anything, it has just ensured that we haven’t found a rut and that sex is just as sizzling as ever.