The Birth of a New Era

Welcome to the first edition of the Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, hosted by Authentic Parenting and Mudpiemama!
In the month of January, we start afresh, a new year, new ideas. Hence, our participants have looked into the topic of “Birth and New Beginnings”. Take a look at the end of this post to find a list of links to the entries of the other participants.

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Photo by HUgo Quintero

In April 2010, we welcomed our fourth child into our family with the birth of our second daughter. As with our other children, she was born peacefully at home with an unassisted birth. Later, as our older children were off playing and we were marvelling at this new human being, my husband turned to me and said, “You know. This is the start of a new part of our lives. We are moving from child-birthing to child-rearing.”

I bristled at that statement. After all, we had been child-rearing for 7 1/2 years, ever since the birth of our first child; it wasn’t anything new. However, what I struggled the most with was the idea that I wouldn’t be having any more babies. Were we really finished having children? Would I never again feel kicks and rolls as I carried our child in my belly? Would our new daughter be the last child to nurse at my breast?

I continued to struggle with this idea. When I began giving the baby boy clothes away and then later when I gave away newborn girl clothes, I cried a bit. Later on, size small diapers and our space saver high chair went. I told myself that it was time for the clothes to go. They had been purchased when our first children were little. If we were to have another baby, by the time he or she wore them, the clothes would be quite out of date. I could make new little diapers if need be and a highchair would be easy to pick up. I thought about not having any more children and about having a fifth child every single day.

Sometimes my husband would make a casual comment about having another baby and I would cry out, asking him why he tortured me so when I was already torn up about the idea. It wasn’t that I was set on having another child. I think not knowing was the worst for me. I wanted to settle on an idea – either of planning to have another baby or of trying to accept that my pixie of a fourth child was my last baby.

Sometime last summer, my husband’s comments about having another child escalated. One day, I realized that he was struggling with the idea in his own way – wanting to have another baby but thinking four children was a good number for us. That was a turning point for me. It helped knowing that I wasn’t struggling alone. We left it at that. We aren’t opposed to having a fifth child but neither are we planning on having another. I have given most of the little baby things away, but I’m still holding onto our baby scale just in case we might need it. Our slings and carriers are still in heavy use, so I haven’t had to visit the idea of passing those on yet.

I still vacillate between the decision to have another child or not. One day a couple of weeks ago I was completely set on not having any more children. A few days later, I saw a picture which had me remembering my children as little babies and the desire was back. We haven’t made any headway into making a firm decision about having another child or not, but what I have found is peace.

Birth is profound; magical and ordinary at the same time. It changes us in ways we can never envision. It creates parents out of people. Birth has given me much besides just my children. I have grown so much by being a mother, and I continue to do so every day. Every day is a new beginning with new possibilities and new opportunities from which to grow and learn. It isn’t something we can plan but it is something we can accept and find our own peace.


Visit Authentic Parenting and MudpieMama to find out how you can participate in the next Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 27 with all the carnival links.)

• Becoming Intentional with My Time Valerie at Momma in Progress shares the beginning of her year-long journey toward more intentional living. 
• Alirik’s Birth Story: Sweet Surprise Lauren at Hobo Mama tells the sweet surprise unassisted home water birth story of her second child.
• My Rebirth: An Honest Look Darcel at The Mahogany Way talks a little about some of the fear and insecurity she’s felt over the years since starting her parenting journey and her blog.
• Trusting My Body: Ailia’s Birth Story After a very challenging birth with her son, Dionna at Code Name: Mama was nervous about having another natural birth. But practicing relaxation techniques and birth affirmations proved to be just what she needed to have her perfect, peaceful, unassisted homebirth.
• My Homeschool Philosophy Paige a Bay Dust Diaries shares her new year’s resulution about homeschooling. 
• Yet Another Resolutions Post... Zen mummy‘s resolutions for a better 2012
• Renewing Green Passions in the New Year Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction talks about renewing a passion for green living in the new year
• Birthing and New Beginnings… And Better Mothering Sheila at A Living Family shares her first ever New Year’s resolutions to be a more mindful, compassionate and respectful mother to her two-year old daughter after the recent birth of her son.
• An Open Letter to MTV Regarding 16 and Pregnant Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama delivers a pointed message to MTV about how they misrepresent birth and parenthood on 16 and Pregnant.
• Setting Intentions Megan at The Other Baby Blog shares another way to ring in the New Year.
• Spencer’s Birth Story Momma Jorje shares her family’s story of birthing her son with Down syndrome.
• Looking Forward, Looking Back Erica @ ChildOrganics shares how she is able to look back at the loss of their daughter and yet move forward with her family at the same time. 
• Unique unto Itself. Melissa of Vibrant Wanderings has chosen a word for her second child’s birth: awareness.
• The Unassisted Birth of The LIttle Buddha. Laura at Authentic Parenting shares the birth story of her new baby
• Birthing and Resolutions: Keeping Good Things in Motion. MudpieMama shares her VBAC story and why she skipped making resolutions in the traditional way. 
• The Birth of a New Era by Mandy from Living Peacefully With Children